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N in azaleas

Wedding Planning

Oh mah goodness. Is this planning to throw a party I'm not even sure I'd like to attend going to drive me crazy or what? I had no idea what all you poor brides went through. So many expectations. So many relatives. Who don't like the other relatives. Who eat into the number of FRIENDS you can invite. Even the ones who are family in all but blood.

Today's irritation: trying to budget such that I don't have to handwrite 250+ invites.

Ok, and I'm still looking desperately for a job in Houston. I'm cute! Hire me!

- N



I'm actually quite good at holding hysterical and worried brides it turns out. So if you need someone to tell you it'll be ok, or just to bitch at, feel free.

I'd offer to step out of the wedding invite list, but I know that would only make me an evil relative bent on playing the martyr, which is tiresome. Instead I'll offer to support you should you tell us all to quietly walk off the pier so you can have a nice peaceful small wedding :)

Love ya,
Alan Sumner Hinds-Brofft
He of many names, none of which make sense.

Re: *Hugs*

Your stepping off the wedding list is not desirable or helpful, but thank you for the offer, which was kind.

We do share a mutual cuz who could step off, however ....

Ahem. Sorry. Ish.

Just for your amusement- and to reassure you that you are, in fact, sane... here's a little note I left a friend of mine just yesterday when she tried to call Marriage a "good stress" change.

Personally, I know it's the bane of all good taste and ettiquette- but I printed off the invitations on the computer with a nice calligraphy font. No one had the guts to complain ;) I'm sure some people didn't even notice. Reminder (just in case) if you invite 300 people- you usually only have to do about 150 invitations. :)

(Post to my poor clueless friend)
I might say marriage, in and of itself, is a slightly positive change. You get all the beanies of being married and a really cool mate... I'd rate it with at least one thumb up- although you can get most of that just living together.

The wedding itself though- that is a hell beyond all other hells... (with the possible exception of childbirth- get back to me in 20 years and I'll let you know which was worse) The wedding itself quite possibly caused me the first ulcer of my life and several mental breakdowns where I started screaming and tearing my hair out while crying.... while people called me a bridezilla and tried to banish the deamons that had sprung forth from the girl they'd known.

Yes... marriage is a good thing... it's not even very stressful. Great. I'll recommend it to anyone who already feels inclined.

The thing that is the modern "traditional" wedding though- that is a stress hell that should be banned for the mental health of all potential brides. There should be a state incentive for eloping... There should be warning labels.

BRIDE WARNING: Buttercream icing and white satin may cause unexpected bouts of hysteria and utter indecision. Guest lists may cause blindness as BRIDE rips eyeballs from the sockets. Walking past flower shops may be hazardous to the health of people accompanying the BRIDE as she spends eight hours quizzing the shop owners on the difference between Magnolias and Orange Blossoms... and the best shade of pink rose- which will match the bridesmaids dresses. Consorting with the bride at any time before the actual wedding may lead to being stuffed into an ill fitting dress that you'll never wear again, having flowers shoved in your ahnds while the BRIDE screams SMILE LIKE YOU'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME! and being shoved down a flower strewn aisle.

Yes. Yes. People who have not been brides laugh at me. They say- it cannot be that bad. They say- but I don't care about the details enough to let it get to me.... but if one cares enough about details to NOT elope... it's into bridal hell you go. MWAHAHAHA

Er. Right. The *getting* part of getting married is a major stressor with no appreciable positive benifits. But the *being* married part is quite lovely ;) I suspect some women block out memories of wedding planning for thier own sanity.

But I've gotten off topic. Stress dirves one insane... but eventully if you remove the stress it all calms down.

I don't believe in the removal of stress. If I'm not stressed- something is wrong ;)
What an elegant way of saying it! It's not the *marriage* that is driving me completely insane (it just scares the heck outta me).. it's the WEDDING!
N in azaleas

September 2009

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