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N in azaleas

It's not that I always pull the gender card

it's just that it's hard to listen to a tall, well-built man tell me that "you just have to out-bully the bully." He went on to discuss how he just tells partners in our Firm that they are getting in the way of his doing his job and that if they think that he's doing a terrible job, they should send him home.

I cannot imagine a woman being able to pull that off.

Now, that said, there are ways that I have seen women be assertive. And, as my one friend puts it, you have to have a high "f*ck-you" quotient -- you need to not care much about the consequences of your standing up for yourself. That, or you have to care more for standing up for yourself than for what happens when you don't: not being bullied is more important than being employed.

Gotta run for now.

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N in azaleas

September 2009

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